Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Habit vs. Hobby

There used to be a time when writing felt like a hobby opposed to a habit. I still feel like that sometimes—occasionally I get in the mood to write in bursts and get a lot done—but it’s mainly a chore for me now. I try and try to figure out why it’s not the same for me; the only answer I’ve ever got for myself is that I’m bored with it. But I’m not. I still want to write. If I’m honest, I noticed the change when I decided I want to learn more about writing.

I read what I write, and I know I’m solid with it. I know I’ve got a few pieces I did exceptionally well. But for the most part, I feel repetitive, and I feel like my scribe can use a cleaner look and approach.

I know all of the fundamentals to writing. I’m good with grammar, spelling, and basic punctuation. But I want a cleaner, more professional look. There are things they don’t teach you in English classes in elementary, middle, and high school. Things that you could pick up by reading a lot, but most authors don’t use these techniques the same way, so it’s not always easy to pick up a great way to utilize them.

Allow me to stop before I get back into ranting on the idiotic system of public schooling…

I’m going back to school in a month to become a teacher. I’ve got a ways to go, but that’s what I want to do. It’s the most stable, fundamental career I can chase that interests me. But my passion is writing. I’ve wanted to write for as long as I can remember. I’ve loved writing for as long as I can remember. Poetry, lyrics, news, sports reporting, children’s stories, short stories, novels… the list goes on and on. I’ve slowed up on a lot of the former, and focused more on the latter recently, but that’s where the cleaner look & approach comes into play.

With poetry, you can almost be sloppy with everything and get away with it. With lyrics, it’s all about sound, and I’ve always been good with that. News requires sources and a lot of field work, and quite frankly I just don’t have that in me at the moment. Sports’ reporting works the same with news until game time—you have to be out there in the field—and I can handle the game time stuff just well. The field work? Not so much. Then we get into the stories and being creative with emphasis on grammar and that clean look and approach comes into play.

I know that writing is going to be a huge part of my life just based on my career alone. Teaching requires it. Teaching English places more emphasis on it. But I won’t be writing the stuff I particularly want to write. However, I’ll have time on the side to sit and write what I enjoy writing, and will have a career which allows me to critique myself the way I would like to. I’ll also, hopefully, have the connections I need to further it as a secondary career.

But I don’t want to write just as a career. It feels paradoxical to write because I’m forced to write. I don’t like deadlines and guidelines, because then I feel rushed and pressured. I want the freedom to write as though it’s a hobby again. That’s when I enjoyed writing. That’s why I know it’s not realistic to depend on writing, because all reliable writing jobs require deadlines and guidelines.

I’m not going anywhere in particular with this… I write for my blog like it’s a hobby. I’m having fun. I’m ranting. I’m telling you what’s on my mind. It’s easier to live in this world with a place to vent, and I figured I’d vent a little bit to help ease pressure and lift the weight from my own shoulders. After all, if I can’t live in my own home, what freedom do I have left in this world?

Sidebar: I know, I know… I am vocal about my dislike of the schooling system, particularly in the United States, yet I want to teach. I’m a hypocrite… of sorts. Long live my right to open a Dojo and TEACH!

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