Friday, August 16, 2013

Comic Character Football

I was asked to come up with a full 11 offense and defense football team comprised of comic book heroes and villains. I guess if I do it here, I can give some proper explanation for why each individual is where they are. I'm running the offense with a fullback, tight end, and two wide receivers... I'm running a 3-4 defense.


Offense:

Quarterback - Bullseye. I can't think of anyone more accurate in comics than Bullseye. Deathstroke, Deadshot and Deadpool would have made a little sense, but Bullseye is just the guy for the job!

Running Back - Green Lantern. Here's a guy with heart and no fear, knows how to take his time and when to attack...

Fullback - The Juggernaut. I can't think of anyone better suited than the unstoppable force to clear a lane for the RB.

LT - Thing. He's a rock, but he has some agility so he can slide and protect the blindside.

LG - Bizarro. LG has to be a guy who can maul people, and I can't think of many better suited than Kal-el's imperfect clone.

C - Hulk. There are a lot of characters who could fit the role of the center, but when you want someone to give you that push, Hulk is your choice.

RG - Thanos. Gotta put a real monster in at guard on the to help destroy the edge on the run.

RT - Bane. He's the best comic character to attack on the run and compliment The Juggernaut to lead the running back.

TE - Iron Man. The strength of the suit and the ability to provide a safety blanket for the QB makes Iron Man the best choice.

WR1 - Flash. You need some speed at WR and you might as well get the fastest out there.

WR2 - Captain America. Someone who plays with some finesse but also not afraid to get chippy and fight for extra yards.



Defense:

LE - Thor. You need muscle at the position and someone who can eat up some blockers. Thor gives you strength and size to help push the line of scrimmage backwards.

NT - Darkseid. The most destructive force in all of comics has no better place to fit than right at the most important position on the defense.

RE - Beast. You aren't going to find anyone better suited than Thor except for Beast, to help maul the O-Line and help free up the LB's.

LOLB - Wolverine. Who better to rush from the outside and chase down the QB than Logan?

ILB1 - Sinestro. He's a man who knows what courage AND fear can both accomplish. With HIS courage and ability to sense fear, Sinestro is the ideal middleman for the defense.

ILB2 - Luke Cage. There needs to be someone with heart and grit to help run the defense and clog up the holes. Luke Cage is willing to take on anyone that steps in his path, making him an easy selection at ILB.

ROLB - Atrocitus. This is an unstoppable force willing to take out ANYONE in his path to accomplish his goal to destroy.

LCB - Scarecrow. You need the WR to fear coming onto your island and the QB needs to fear throwing to your island.

FS - Superman. Nobody better to serve as the last line of defense than Kal-el.

SS - Batman. You need someone who can play the box, hit, and play with smarts.

RCB - Spiderman. There's no way you get torched down the field, so you put someone who can adjust to subtle movements in to contest the speedy receivers.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Washington Redskins 2013-14 Season Outlook - Offense

We're only a few short weeks away from the start of the 2013-14 NFL season, and here at Don't Laugh, People, that means all the reason to get excited!

For myself and Enigma, the excitement is all about the Washington Redskins, hence the title of this blog post. So what about the Redskins themselves is there to get excited about???

Robert Griffin III

I shouldn't have to bring up the talking points about his injury or his return. All I have to talk about is his passer rating of > 100, his minimal turnovers as a rookie, his Rookie of the Year award, and his physical abilities which are for all intents and purposes, unmatched. RG3 is the perfect weapon in today's NFL, and his decision making is already well-noted when teams already knew they were going to have to try their damnedest to account for him. Now he will, presumably, focus more on passing the football... and make great decisions as he has shown the ability to do already. But what will make Robert even more effective...?

Offensive Gameplan and Playcalling

We're already seeing a number of teams adding both the read option and the pistol into their offense. But those teams will be working with less out of those offenses than the Redskins will. While teams will be more prepared in their defensive gameplan for many looks, the Redskins have the advantage of being one-step ahead of the rest of the league, and can add wrinkles other teams cannot account for yet. Sure, a lot of the pistol and read option will be largely the same and dependent upon execution, but the threat of adding a play or two to the mix that teams don't have on tape from last year will be what really pushes the Redskins ahead this season. But the gameplan will be even more fluid and threatening because of...

Alfred Morris

Morris, the sensational running back for the Redskins who, in his rookie year set the team rushing yards record previously held by Clinton Portis, and performed league-wide as a top 2 back in most major categories--yards included--will really be able to help the offense this year if he is able to stay healthy and consistently produce on the ground as he did last season. Morris probably won't see as many touches as last year, which should be good for everyone as that would mean Morris takes less damage to his own body, there are more threats out of the backfield in the rotation, and the team can utilize more threats from the option and triple option. But the playbook opens up because Morris is a threat when running the football, and teams absolutely have to account for his presence on the field. This will open the outside for threats like...

Pierre Garcon and the Wide Receivers

Pierre Garcon's impact on the team last year was noted. When he was on the field, all of the wide receivers performed at a higher level, comfortable in their roles. When Garcon was out, defenses could key in on their responsibilities. Garcon is a threat because he doesn't let a play die easily. He is always moving and trying to find the soft spot in the defense when the route is eliminated by the defense and Griffin has to scramble. He's a feisty competitor as well, and is not afraid to get physical with or without the football in his hands. This intensity draws more attention from defenses and opens the field up. It doesn't hurt Garcon or the offense that Pierre is among one of the fastest threats at receiver in the league, either. But Garcon isn't the only threat. Josh Morgan is now completely healthy and has a year in this system and wants to prove he's not some castaway, but a real threat to make plays. Santana Moss sees limited targets and touches, but that is helping his durability and he is catching the football at times when he can turn the completion into points, which he did last year with the most receiving touchdowns on the team. But perhaps more importantly than wide receivers, are...

Fred Davis and the Tight Ends

Fred Davis exited the season early last year with a torn achilles. Prior to his injury, Davis looked very comfortable in the offense and as though it suited his strengths. There was talk last offseason about Griffin and Davis not getting along, but it was apparent on a deep throw to the sideline in New Orleans that Griffin and Davis liked, respected, and communicated well with each other. Davis' injury did not necessarily destroy the team as some might have thought. The run game actually got more powerful, and the passing attack actually opened up more (considering Garcon returned just after Davis' injury). Niles Paul didn't step up and become a major threat, rather, Logan Paulsen showed coaches, teammates, fans, and opponents that he could be a real-deal threat on this team. Countless times we witnessed Logan put his body on the line and extend for a tough catch and keep plays alive by continuing to run when everything broke down. Davis is miles ahead of our other TE's, so his return should make the Redskins even more explosive and open things up for Garcon, but there is depth and the freedom to keep guys fresh and even use them in new roles.

Kendrick Lamar

...spazzed out. It wasn't the greatest shit ever spit, the hardest shit ever spit, or the cleanest shit ever spit... but for this era and this generation of babies who "rap" ... K.Dot said some shit that hit...

...and on another rapper's song!



That other rapper is eternally known as "???" because we've now never heard of 'em.