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Showing posts from August, 2012

We Reached For The Stars

“You know why people don’t like Liberals? Because they lose. If Liberals are so fucking smart, how come they lose so goddamn always? … You’re gonna tell [students] that America is so star-spangled-awesome that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom; Japan has freedom. The U.K., France,  Italy,  Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium – has freedom. 207 sovereign states in the world, like, 180 of ‘em have freedom. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know. One of them is: there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that ‘we’re the greatest country in the world’. We’re 7 th in literacy; 27 th in math; 22 nd in science; 49 th in life expectancy; 178 th in infant mortality; 3 rd in median household income; #4 in labor force & #4 in exports. We lead the world in only three categories – number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe an

Thoughts on Chris Cooley's Release

Anyone following me on Twitter, or anyone who has talked football with me the past year, knows I’ve been waiting impatiently for the day that the Redskins released Chris Cooley. Truth be told, I’ve wanted his release since Fred Davis emerged during his first injury and showed that in-game, he’s among some of the very best at the position. That’s not a knock to Cooley, who I believe can still play. This isn’t someone trolling to rip one of the most popular players in the league. I’m a Chris Cooley fan, and I’m sad to see him go. I wish him all the luck in his future with another team (so long as it’s not in the NFC East) or in broadcasting or whatever it is he pursues. However, I’m a Redskins fan long before I’m a fan of any player. No player is bigger than the team in my eyes and heart. So realistically, Cooley had to go. I knew it during Shanahan’s first year here, when we were playing the Texans, and Chris Cooley dropped a wide open touchdown in the endzone that he was jus

Le Pew

I was talking to someone today about Pepé Le Pew—centered around the idea expressed by Dave Chappelle—being inappropriate and a completely horrible example for children. A lot of cartoons expressed some very inappropriate content, but Le Pew’s stands out. The perverse skunk constantly chased what he couldn’t have, resorted to tactics which would land most men in court and/or prison, and while ultimately failing, refused to accept loss and continued dangerously in his pursuit of the poontang. Pepé once tried to take the pussy [cat] from another cat. He resorted to painting his stripe black so he looked less like a skunk, but still got beat up by the male cat. Le Pew determined it was in his best interests to sneak in and paint a white stripe down the male cat’s back to make him look like a skunk. When he encountered the female cat, she was running from the skunked-out male cat and Le Pew rescued her. He eventually got splashed in a puddle and the female cat figured out the tr

Portis To Announce Retirement Thursday

Portis To Announce Retirement Thursday : "On his very first carry as a member of the Washington Redskins in 2004, Clinton Portis took the ball 64 yards to the house for a touchdown. It was the first of many highlight moments for Portis in his six-years in Washington, which will officially end Thursday when the two-time Pro Bowl selection will announce his retirement in a ceremony at Redskins Park. Portis, whose 6,824 rushing yards rank second all-time in Redskins history, went to Twitter Tuesday to show his gratitude towards the Redskins and his fans." _______ Godspeed to Clinton Portis, who deserves an appropriate sendoff. Portis was a fan-favorite, very involved in the entire DMV community, and one of the very few players in Redskins history who actually feels like he belongs to the organization.

Shad Khan, Roger Goodell announce Jaguars' London deal -

Shad Khan, Roger Goodell announce Jaguars' London deal - : "The Jacksonville Jaguars officially will become a temporary tenant of Wembely Stadium on Tuesday. Jaguars owner Shad Khan and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will announce at a 2 p.m. ET press conference that the Jaguars will play one home game a season in London for four years, beginning in 2013. In an email to season ticket holders Tuesday, Khan said the decision was based around his desire to turn the Jaguars into one of the NFL's "signature franchises.""

Maurice Jones-Drew open to trade from Jacksonville Jaguars -

Maurice Jones-Drew open to trade from Jacksonville Jaguars - : "The comments by Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan on Tuesday sparked a visceral reaction from a disgruntled Maurice Jones-Drew. The running back even told one person close to him that if the owner really isn't concerned with him, then he should trade him to someone who will be. If Jones-Drew is expendable, his camp believes that gives them permission to seek a trade. But the running back's trade value isn't clear, because the new team would have to offer him a new contract, as well."

Rape vs. Abortion

I’ve accepted I’ll probably ruffle some feathers. It’s only natural when discussing politics. I don’t discuss politics here on Don’t Laugh, People because I truly don’t even have beliefs when it comes to politics. My beliefs are for the betterment of humanity, not just myself and loved ones; not just fellow Americans; not just allies. I want humanity as a whole to fulfill their purpose of becoming a dominant species, not a species composed of dominant groups imprisoning and enslaving less fortunate peoples. But my focus is on something at home, and not to do with anyone abroad. The topic of abortion in the United States. Congressman Todd Akin’s controversial comments over the weekend sparked backlash and debate. I don’t agree with Todd Akin’s comments in any way, shape, or form. I don’t support abortion, especially when consenting adults have sex. There are consequences to your actions, and pregnancy is possible with or without birth control, and we all know that. I also

The Love of Humanity.

" I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an Emperor, that's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone, if possible. Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another; human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each others' misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there's room for everyone and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful... But we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness, hard and unkind.  We think too much.. and feel t

Why Can Robert Griffin III Take the Redskins to the Playoffs?

Before I get started, obviously, I’m a Washington Redskins fan. There shouldn’t be any doubt about that. I’m not writing making guarantees—I can easily turn any of the points I will write about into negatives for why RGIII can’t take the Redskins to the playoffs—this is almost all strictly hypothetical. But everything in sport is hypothetical and uncertain. Week 15 last season, the New York Giants shouldn’t have even been in the playoffs. But they snuck their way in and bowled through everyone on their way to the franchise’s 4 th Super Bowl win. Robert Griffin III brings potential at its maximum levels to the table, and these are the things he can use to help propel the Redskins into their first playoff berth of the Mike Shanahan era, and the first since Hall of Fame coach Joe Gibbs final season with the team in 2007-08. You’re looking at quite possibly the most athletic quarterback in the league, if not in the league’s history. That also means you could be looking at one o

Michael vs LeBron: The Best Basketball Player Ever?

This familiar debate seems to have picked up once again in light of LeBron winning his first title and his third Olympic medal. He is the best, most versatile basketball player on the planet today, there is no disputing that. This assertion should probably wait until after he retires, but since some are already proclaiming him the King, let's discuss it: Is LeBron James already the best basketball player ever? But before we even delve into that discussion, let's talk about the player who by acclamation is the greatest basketball player of all time. Michael Jeffrey Jordan. The name alone speaks volumes. When we talk Jordan, we're talking the brightest star and the biggest name in the history of the sport. But is Jordan the out and out best basketball player ever? What made Jordan so amazing to us? His legendary will to win. Any perceived slight fueled his fire, a flame already fanned by his intense drive to be the very best. Bone fractures and flu-like symptoms

Top 5 Free Agent Signings in Redskins History

The shortcomings of free agent signings by the Washington Redskins have been well-documented. NFL Network even devoted the #1 worst free agent signing of all-time to "Anyone by the Redskins." However, the Redskins have had some players ink the dotted line that have proven to be worth the monetary value. My top 5? 5. Terry Allen, RB Terry Allen came to Washington from Minnesota, with reconstructed knees. Most wouldn't expect much from him, however Allen would make the last few seasons at RFK Stadium somewhat enjoyable. Allen would rush for 4008 yards and 37 TDs for the Redskins, including a career-high 1353 rushing yards and 21 rushing TDs (2nd in team history) in the final season at RFK. Allen would eventually lose his starting spot to Stephen Davis, but he definitely played his butt off. 4. Larry Centers, FB If Larry Centers was playing in the NFL today, he would be the Wes Welker of tailbacks. Centers was a superb receiver out of the backfield, logging a 101-cat

Habit vs. Hobby

There used to be a time when writing felt like a hobby opposed to a habit. I still feel like that sometimes—occasionally I get in the mood to write in bursts and get a lot done—but it’s mainly a chore for me now. I try and try to figure out why it’s not the same for me; the only answer I’ve ever got for myself is that I’m bored with it. But I’m not. I still want to write. If I’m honest, I noticed the change when I decided I want to learn more about writing. I read what I write, and I know I’m solid with it. I know I’ve got a few pieces I did exceptionally well. But for the most part, I feel repetitive, and I feel like my scribe can use a cleaner look and approach. I know all of the fundamentals to writing. I’m good with grammar, spelling, and basic punctuation. But I want a cleaner, more professional look. There are things they don’t teach you in English classes in elementary, middle, and high school. Things that you could pick up by reading a lot, but most authors don’t us

Seal [1994]

One of the most criminally slept on and ignored albums of the 1990s, Seal's second self-titled album is a masterpiece in the genre of rhythm and blues. Though the album boasts Seal's biggest hit, "Kiss From A Rose," the album itself failed to garner much recognition because that particular single is first and best remembered as a song on the Batman Forever soundtrack. The album's other singles did little to pique listener interest and one of the most well crafted albums in recent history was swept under the rug. Seal II is a seamless composition driven by poignant singing and poetic lyricism, all set to perfectly crafted instrumentation. Each song has its own feel and vibe, yet the lyrics and singing give the album a feel of wholeness and uniformity. The music varies with Seal's moods, each song's instrumentation remains soothing, patient and soft, yet all the while it is building toward a crescendo and crashing in time with the build of the lyrics